The Youth Ministry That Your Students Really Need
Remember watching reruns of The Bill Cosby Show or Happy Days? It's a great exercise for youth leaders in our era. Why? I think the Cosby family and the Cunninghams still capture the essence of what many teenagers crave for today, FAMILY.
You don't have to be a clinical psychologist to know the "why behind the what." Today's youth culture is surrounded by broken families, broken friendships, and broken hearts. So the unspoken message is, "I need a FAMILY ROOM more than I need a CHURCH AUDITORIUM." Unfortunately, that's a little tougher than it sometimes sounds. So let me share with you a few key principles that have helped to build a sense of "family" in our youth church.
Talk "family" on a consistent and purposeful basis in front of your students.
Your words really are creative. I've lost track of the number of ways we reference "family" in The Capitol and The City (our local youth ministries), but let me give you a few of the phrases you would hear around here often:- "Here at The Capitol, we're more than just people who show up in the same room a couple of times each week. We're family."
- "In The City, none of us are perfect, but we've got each other's backs because we're family."
- "Our life groups (small groups) are the way we make the larger family feel more personal."
Though those words may stick in your throat the first few times you say them, they are more powerful than you could realize. They are especially powerful when stated from a man because of this generation's emotional hunger for an adopted dad or big brother they can look up to and feel connected with.
Eat together.
I think I've maybe changed the Scripture just a little, but I often quote, "Where two or more are gathered together in His Name, there is food." Don't make this too tough. It can just be a stop together at the "Chick-Fil-A" on the way home from a trip or a picnic on the 4th of July. Jesus modeled this concept as He created His discipleship family. The New Testament is filled with times that He "broke bread with them." It's no coincidence that His last bonding time with the disciples before the Cross was not "The Last Teaching," but rather, "The Last Supper."
Play together.
If you don't have time to occasionally "play" with the students in your youth ministry, you might want to rethink your priorities. I often say that the youth ministry that "Prays together and PLAYS together, Stays together."
Playing together is more than fun sports competitions. It's creating fun in spontaneous ways all along the youth ministry journey. I often remind my students that, "Fun is not an activity, it's an attitude." So create a party in the unexpected moments of life.
Consider launching some form of small group strategy within your youth ministry.
Even if your youth group has no more than 15-20 students, a small group approach would make a world of difference in creating family and the larger the youth outreach becomes, the more vital a strategic small group approach is.
Launching a small group ministry is not as challenging as it might sound. In my book, Thriving Youth Groups, I devote an entire chapter to this topic entitled, "Small Groups Made Easy." That chapter alone makes the book truly invaluable to the sincerest youth leaders.
All in all, this business of creating a sense of family in youth ministry is one of the most vital components to any significant ministry. Truth be told, it's a challenge for many of us in youth ministry because we never had anyone do it for us. Yes, it's tough to give away what you never experienced yourself, but I will tell you personally that there is a mountain of fulfillment in giving away to others what you perhaps never had yourself. So with that in mind, go be Youth Leader Howard Cunningham and change your world.
Remember watching reruns of The Bill Cosby Show or Happy Days? It's a great exercise for youth leaders in our era. Why? I think the Cosby family and the Cunninghams still capture the essence of what many teenagers crave for today, FAMILY.
You don't have to be a clinical psychologist to know the "why behind the what." Today's youth culture is surrounded by broken families, broken friendships, and broken hearts. So the unspoken message is, "I need a FAMILY ROOM more than I need a CHURCH AUDITORIUM." Unfortunately, that's a little tougher than it sometimes sounds. So let me share with you a few key principles that have helped to build a sense of "family" in our youth church.
Talk "family" on a consistent and purposeful basis in front of your students.
Your words really are creative. I've lost track of the number of ways we reference "family" in The Capitol and The City (our local youth ministries), but let me give you a few of the phrases you would hear around here often:- "Here at The Capitol, we're more than just people who show up in the same room a couple of times each week. We're family."
- "In The City, none of us are perfect, but we've got each other's backs because we're family."
- "Our life groups (small groups) are the way we make the larger family feel more personal."
Though those words may stick in your throat the first few times you say them, they are more powerful than you could realize. They are especially powerful when stated from a man because of this generation's emotional hunger for an adopted dad or big brother they can look up to and feel connected with.
Eat together.
I think I've maybe changed the Scripture just a little, but I often quote, "Where two or more are gathered together in His Name, there is food." Don't make this too tough. It can just be a stop together at the "Chick-Fil-A" on the way home from a trip or a picnic on the 4th of July. Jesus modeled this concept as He created His discipleship family. The New Testament is filled with times that He "broke bread with them." It's no coincidence that His last bonding time with the disciples before the Cross was not "The Last Teaching," but rather, "The Last Supper."
Play together.
If you don't have time to occasionally "play" with the students in your youth ministry, you might want to rethink your priorities. I often say that the youth ministry that "Prays together and PLAYS together, Stays together."
Playing together is more than fun sports competitions. It's creating fun in spontaneous ways all along the youth ministry journey. I often remind my students that, "Fun is not an activity, it's an attitude." So create a party in the unexpected moments of life.
Consider launching some form of small group strategy within your youth ministry.
Even if your youth group has no more than 15-20 students, a small group approach would make a world of difference in creating family and the larger the youth outreach becomes, the more vital a strategic small group approach is.
Launching a small group ministry is not as challenging as it might sound. In my book, Thriving Youth Groups, I devote an entire chapter to this topic entitled, "Small Groups Made Easy." That chapter alone makes the book truly invaluable to the sincerest youth leaders.
All in all, this business of creating a sense of family in youth ministry is one of the most vital components to any significant ministry. Truth be told, it's a challenge for many of us in youth ministry because we never had anyone do it for us. Yes, it's tough to give away what you never experienced yourself, but I will tell you personally that there is a mountain of fulfillment in giving away to others what you perhaps never had yourself. So with that in mind, go be Youth Leader Howard Cunningham and change your world.
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Paul said it best in 1 Corinthians 4:14-15, "I am not writing this to shame you but to warn you as my dear children. Even though you have ten thousand instructors in Christ, you do not have many fathers." Don't those verses pierce your soul?
Not only that, but let's take it a step further. While there are a lot of great youth communicators and youth ministry CEO's out there, the years have taught me that it's not been my communication skills or the size of my ministry that people I've impacted reference, but "how the Jesus Christ inside of me made them feel" as I became an adopted "big sis" or "spiritual mom."
Bottom line, one of the most eternally significant things you can do is to stir up inside of you the heart of a spiritual parent. In addition to hearing some sobering stats, listen in and get insight on how to live this out.
Lovingly,
In our youth ministry, Oxygen, "family" is a big deal. In fact, we intentionally "do" things each week to make our environment feel less like a "church auditorium" and more like a "family room." And, every once in awhile, we'll even take an extended amount of time to "verbally" remind our students why "family" is such an integral part of our DNA. This Source, "The Family Room," was one of those nights designed to refresh our students' memories on what it looks like to take care of each other well.
Using the visual of a "friendship sandwich" to make the message stick, we look to John 15:12-17 where Jesus lays out what it means to "love one another, just as He has loved us." Drawing upon an opening skit that will make you laugh, a TV family montage that will bring back fond memories, a heart-wrenching story that will fill your eyes with tears, and a fun closing that will not too easily be forgotten, I pray this stirs up or rekindles a desire in your students to live and love in such a way that the world rises up and takes notice.
Lovingly,
Sam Shoemaker had it right when he encouraged us not to get so far "in the door" that we forget what it's like to live "outside the door"...to live without Christ. Given that Jesus died for those living outside the door, our hearts should beat strongly for them despite the fears and insecurities that accompany the word "evangelism."
Even though statistics tell us that over 90% of our students don't have a functioning gift of evangelism, the strategic growth plan covered in this Youth Leader's Coach will make it easy for both you and them to become great "doorkeepers." This will not only get new students to "come around," but "stick around" as well.
Lovingly,
Some topics are so engrained in you, they become part of your LEADERSHIP DNA. This topic would be one of them for me. I'm excited for the conversations it will prayerfully spark when your Alliance group is together. If you know me, you probably already know what I'm talking about.
This ALLIANCE, "Effective Small Groups Made Easy," talks about what I believe to be the greatest pragmatic tool for discipleship and growth. And in truth, I'm not telling you it will be easy, but as a bit of a leadership coach, if I can point you one direction to make the FOCUS of your programming energy...this is it! For those of you who already HAVE a small group ministry, this ALLIANCE can give you the tools for a most valuable RE-booting of your groups.
Let me share the top 3 reasons why I think small groups fail:
1. They are glorified Sunday School classes with a "talking head" instead of being highly interactive and relational.
2. People don't spend enough energy on the steps I am suggesting.
3. They QUIT too soon!
So let's take a run at dialoguing on 10 pragmatic guidelines to help you and your Alliance group, launch or re-launch a THRIVING small group system. My prayer for this ALLIANCE resource is that it helps your Alliance group take their youth and young adult ministries from being ministries WITH small groups to a ministry OF small groups. There's a really BIG difference between the two.
Many people in our society like to think that since we are Christians, we don’t know how to have fun! People tend to think that Christianity is just full of rules. THEY HAVE IT ALL WRONG!!! True fun will always be an ATTITUDE…not an ACTIVITY and we get to choose our attitude every morning!
If you've ever been around me for very long…you know how much I love to have fun! So, listen in as I share 5 simple keys to having a positive, "PARTY IN THE HOUSE" attitude…even when life isn't exactly a "party."
Lovingly,
