Where Were You, God?
There will be times in your "youth family" when you will have to deal with emotional issues such as accidents, death, illness, divorce or any of the things that happen in life when you ask the question, "Where were You, God?" Deep hurt in life is often hard to talk about. How do we relate to someone that we have no idea how they feel, even remotely? And we also, sometimes we think no one will ever understand our levels of pain and heartache in life. We all know that pain makes us stronger...and that's great...but that doesn't always make it ok. If, "Where were You, God?" questions haven't ever gone through your own head, I can guarantee it's gone through some of your students'. And, if we don't give them a safe place to process and disarm those thoughts, they can prove to be spiritually lethal. In fact, they are probably the reason for some of the empty chairs in our youth ministries today.
When these things happen the first thing you need to do for the student closest to and most hurt by the situation is to find one of your strongest leaders of the same sex and ask them to take a special interest in this student. Say to them, "you own this student." Ask your leader to call the student, look for them at the youth service and offer to sit with them even if they act cool. Assure your leader not to take the coolness as rejection. This coolness is often their way of saying, "My God, I've watched my brother die..." (or whatever) and that's a big deal. Let that leader feel like that individual is their mission in life. Because the only thing that wins when things like this happen is time, and somebody needs to pay enough quiet dues without pushing that then the hurt student begins to feel sincerely connected with.
You can also, as the leader, be a voice from the platform to help your students deal with these difficult situations. In my youth ministry right now I've got 4 or 5 of these highly sensitive situations just like this playing out. Recently we did a Source called, Even If... that asked the questions like..."How do you deal with pain when you're saying, God, I don't get it...why didn't You stop that from happening?" or "Why did You let that happen?"
There will be times in your "youth family" when you will have to deal with emotional issues such as accidents, death, illness, divorce or any of the things that happen in life when you ask the question, "Where were You, God?" Deep hurt in life is often hard to talk about. How do we relate to someone that we have no idea how they feel, even remotely? And we also, sometimes we think no one will ever understand our levels of pain and heartache in life. We all know that pain makes us stronger...and that's great...but that doesn't always make it ok. If, "Where were You, God?" questions haven't ever gone through your own head, I can guarantee it's gone through some of your students'. And, if we don't give them a safe place to process and disarm those thoughts, they can prove to be spiritually lethal. In fact, they are probably the reason for some of the empty chairs in our youth ministries today.
When these things happen the first thing you need to do for the student closest to and most hurt by the situation is to find one of your strongest leaders of the same sex and ask them to take a special interest in this student. Say to them, "you own this student." Ask your leader to call the student, look for them at the youth service and offer to sit with them even if they act cool. Assure your leader not to take the coolness as rejection. This coolness is often their way of saying, "My God, I've watched my brother die..." (or whatever) and that's a big deal. Let that leader feel like that individual is their mission in life. Because the only thing that wins when things like this happen is time, and somebody needs to pay enough quiet dues without pushing that then the hurt student begins to feel sincerely connected with.
You can also, as the leader, be a voice from the platform to help your students deal with these difficult situations. In my youth ministry right now I've got 4 or 5 of these highly sensitive situations just like this playing out. Recently we did a Source called, Even If... that asked the questions like..."How do you deal with pain when you're saying, God, I don't get it...why didn't You stop that from happening?" or "Why did You let that happen?"
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Deep hurt in life is often hard to talk about. How do we relate to someone that we have no idea how they feel, even remotely? And we also, sometimes think no one will ever understand our levels of pain and heartache in life. We all know that pain makes us stronger...and that's great...but that doesn't always make it ok. Things like rape, divorce, accidents, sickness and death can leave us wondering, "Where were You, God?" If that question hasn't ever gone through your own head, I can guarantee it's gone through some of your students'. And, if we don't give them a safe place to process and disarm those thoughts, they can prove to be spiritually lethal. In fact, they are probably the reason for some of the empty chairs in our youth ministries today.
In this Source, I talk about how Jesus was the ultimate victim when He died for our sins. He was mistreated and abused, just as many of us were in our lives. So what do we do with that? Helping students to understand our God hurts when we hurt, He cries when we cry and is painfully aware of all that we are going through...well, that can help.
Bottom line, my heart's desire is for our students not to have an "If only things had been different" mindset, but choose instead to live "Even if..." lives. Even if I don't understand, the Christ inside of me is big enough to see me through. Even if I don't get it, I will follow Him.
Serving a God who collects my tears,
Jesus couldn't have summed it up better when He said, "In this world you will have trouble..." And, we all have the scars caused by our bad decisions to undeniably prove it! But sometimes the scars are made by others, even when we've done everything "right." Privately, they can leave us crying out to God, "Where were You?"
This Source, featuring one of my former students and a faithful pastor in the inner city Detroit area, Kevin Ramsby, helps us to answer that very question. He awoke one night to an intruder who in an attempt to rob him, repeatedly stabbed Kevin 37 times, leaving him left for dead in his own pool of blood. Remarkably, Kevin lives to tell the story and remind us where God is when we experience "Uninvited Scars."
Through the sharing of his and Joseph's story, Kevin's prayer, and mine too, is that your students...and maybe you as well...will experience the touch of God in the areas that have caused the greatest hurt and pain. As the ultimate redeemer and restorer, God can and will work for good what the Devil would love to have destroy you.
Living close to Him,
