Are You Listening?
People often ask me how to GROW their ministry or how to PREACH with more skill. Rarely, if ever, do people ask me how to LISTEN more effectively. But I think INTENTIONAL LISTENING is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give to another human being. And today's church world seems to be much more focused on TALKING than on LISTENING.
Let me ask you a really important question in youth ministry: How good of a listener are you...really? We in church circles often seem to be lots better at talking than we are at listening. That's a pretty tragic statement, but an agonizingly true one.
So, let me share some ideas that will help you up your "L.Q." (Listening Quotient)
- Realize that genuine listening takes INTENTIONAL EFFORT on your part. It is FAR from being passive. It doesn't "just happen." Listening is hard work.
- Learn to "say it back." Occasionally re-word what they're saying and repeat it back to them.
- Fight to keep your eyes from wandering and your body language fully engaged. I remind myself often, "Wherever you are, be all the way there."
- Don't FIX IT TILL YOU FEEL IT.
- Don't interrupt and try to impose your decisions. Interrupting sends a variety of messages. It says: "I'm more important than you are." ... "I don't really care what you think." ... "This isn't a conversation, it's more of a contest... and I am determined to win."
- At all costs, avoid T.R.T. (Typical Religious Talk) and other cheapening responses like, "I know just how you feel."
- Keep an open mind and listen without judging or jumping to quick conclusions. Don't be a sentence-grabber.
- Prayerfully try to HEAR sometimes what their actual WORDS REALLY AREN'T SAYING.
- Ask them a few days later how the situation is coming that you LISTENED ABOUT earlier.
- If you don't have time or circumstances prevent you from listening right away, OWN it. Schedule a time in the near future when you can talk.
A 2016 survey put out by the Schaeffer Institute reported that 58% of the pastors surveyed said that they didn't have any "good friends." That's a lot of loneliness among those of us in the ministry. And after lots of years in youth ministry trenches I've learned, if you truly want to connect with the people's hearts, I promise you that intentional listening is a really, really big deal.
People often ask me how to GROW their ministry or how to PREACH with more skill. Rarely, if ever, do people ask me how to LISTEN more effectively. But I think INTENTIONAL LISTENING is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give to another human being. And today's church world seems to be much more focused on TALKING than on LISTENING.
Let me ask you a really important question in youth ministry: How good of a listener are you...really? We in church circles often seem to be lots better at talking than we are at listening. That's a pretty tragic statement, but an agonizingly true one.
So, let me share some ideas that will help you up your "L.Q." (Listening Quotient)
- Realize that genuine listening takes INTENTIONAL EFFORT on your part. It is FAR from being passive. It doesn't "just happen." Listening is hard work.
- Learn to "say it back." Occasionally re-word what they're saying and repeat it back to them.
- Fight to keep your eyes from wandering and your body language fully engaged. I remind myself often, "Wherever you are, be all the way there."
- Don't FIX IT TILL YOU FEEL IT.
- Don't interrupt and try to impose your decisions. Interrupting sends a variety of messages. It says: "I'm more important than you are." ... "I don't really care what you think." ... "This isn't a conversation, it's more of a contest... and I am determined to win."
- At all costs, avoid T.R.T. (Typical Religious Talk) and other cheapening responses like, "I know just how you feel."
- Keep an open mind and listen without judging or jumping to quick conclusions. Don't be a sentence-grabber.
- Prayerfully try to HEAR sometimes what their actual WORDS REALLY AREN'T SAYING.
- Ask them a few days later how the situation is coming that you LISTENED ABOUT earlier.
- If you don't have time or circumstances prevent you from listening right away, OWN it. Schedule a time in the near future when you can talk.
A 2016 survey put out by the Schaeffer Institute reported that 58% of the pastors surveyed said that they didn't have any "good friends." That's a lot of loneliness among those of us in the ministry. And after lots of years in youth ministry trenches I've learned, if you truly want to connect with the people's hearts, I promise you that intentional listening is a really, really big deal.
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It's been said that "The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire." How true. And in youth ministry, we need to help ignite that process almost every day. Have you ever wondered how certain leaders seem to pull the best out in those around them? They seem to know how to generate the extra effort from those they lead whether it's the students in the youth group itself or the volunteer leaders.
That topic is what this valuable Youth Leader's Coach is all about. I've entitled it, "Bringing Out The Best In People." And because it is such a crucial topic, I have made this a two-part coaching communication. John Gardner once said that "The best-kept secret in America today is that people would rather work hard for something they believe in than enjoy a pampered idleness." I think that quote is especially true when it comes to youth ministry. So grab a cup of coffee and let's have some fun talking about this really vital aspect of ministry.
Lovingly,
Rarely in our Youth Leader's Coach family do I give you a two-part coaching communication. But this Youth Leader's Coach, "Bringing Out The Best In People - Part 2," represents a topic that is so crucial that I wanted to spend more time with you on it.
You'll hear me deal with simple keys that will truly be the "make it or break it" within the relational life of both your youth ministry and your leadership team. So enjoy our moments together and know that in reality, "People are failures, not because they are stupid, but because they are not sufficiently impassioned."
Still committed to "Frog-Kissing,"
In our desire for church growth, it seems that more and more leaders are falling into the category of "CEO," and have forgotten their call to be the "shepherds" of God's people. Though it's true that both are important in leading a church, Scripture and Jesus' example show us that fulfilling the role of a "true shepherd" is of the highest priority.
In this Youth Leader's Coach, I share seven principles that will help you "Cultivate The Heart Of A Shepherd" in your youth ministry. So, put on your running shoes, and let's go "chase" some sheep...together! There is no greater calling!
Lovingly,
It seems that today's church world seems to be much more focused on TALKING than on LISTENING. People often ask me how to GROW their ministry or how to PREACH with more skill. But rarely, if ever, do people ask me how to LISTEN more effectively. I think INTENTIONAL LISTENING is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give to another human being.
Let me ask you a really important question in youth ministry: How good of a listener are you...really? In this Youth Leader's Coach, I share nine ways that you can raise your "L.Q." (Listening Quotient). Remember, it was Voltaire that said, "The ears are the highway to the heart." And after lots of years in youth ministry trenches, I promise you that intentional listening is a really, really big deal.
Lovingly,
Over the last decades the students in my ministries have gone through lots of culture shifts. From the Baby Boomers...to Generations X, Y, Z, Millennials, iGen, and Gen Alpha. One of the most common questions I get asked is, "How do you connect with and leave a footprint on the next generation?" That's what this Youth Leader's Coach is all about. I share 5 "Non-Negotiables" for reaching the next generation, whatever they happen to be calling them.
These 5 simple principles have remained consistent as I've reached almost 5 decades of students. So listen in. Together we will raise a generation of young people that will say with confidence, "Jesus, we are yours!"
Lovingly,
