Don't Be ANGRY, DEFENSIVE, DETACHED OR ARROGANT
The girls in Jeanne's youth ministry wanted the guys to know that they don't like it when their PERSONAL INSECURITIES OR HURTS MAKE THEM OUTWARDLY ANGRY, DEFENSIVE, DETACHED, OR ARROGANT. Lots of times they just get mad and we don't know what's going on.
And what they were saying was, "We get it. Our society makes it tough for guys to say what they're feeling on the inside. And we're sorry because that's not fair. But lots of times guys just get mad on the outside or they'll back away and get real detached and go into silent mode and we don't know what's going on. If they would just tell us, like saying, Listen, I'm sorry that I was in a rotten mood yesterday and I got mad over 'whatever.' I'm really worried about what I'm going to do in the future or something. Just explaining what's behind some of your actions. Because, see, the movies make it sound like the girls always want a guy who's like this epic hero. No, that's really not true. We want you to be heroes, but we'll go to the end of the earth with you if you're just honest with us.
Again, we're not saying, guys walk around and wear a billboard and explain your emotions to every woman in the world. We're just saying, if she's a good friend, then sometimes you can say, 'I'm in a bad mood today because... (whatever) ...it's not you.'"
One of the "signatures" of youth ministry is to cultivate HEALTHY, GREAT CHRISTIAN FRIENDSHIPS. But "FEELINGS" can make that goal pretty complicated sometimes when it comes to FRIENDSHIPS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX.
Jeanne wanted to connect with the hearts of her students, so she hosted two "focus groups," one with guys and the other one with girls. She asked them to talk about their FEELINGS when it came to building HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS with the opposite sex...what they WISHED their counterparts KNEW. Find out all the 12 things the guys wanted the girls to know...and the 14 things the girls wanted me to pass on to the guys... in the message called, "FEELS: What We All Feel When It Comes To Relationships."
The girls in Jeanne's youth ministry wanted the guys to know that they don't like it when their PERSONAL INSECURITIES OR HURTS MAKE THEM OUTWARDLY ANGRY, DEFENSIVE, DETACHED, OR ARROGANT. Lots of times they just get mad and we don't know what's going on.
And what they were saying was, "We get it. Our society makes it tough for guys to say what they're feeling on the inside. And we're sorry because that's not fair. But lots of times guys just get mad on the outside or they'll back away and get real detached and go into silent mode and we don't know what's going on. If they would just tell us, like saying, Listen, I'm sorry that I was in a rotten mood yesterday and I got mad over 'whatever.' I'm really worried about what I'm going to do in the future or something. Just explaining what's behind some of your actions. Because, see, the movies make it sound like the girls always want a guy who's like this epic hero. No, that's really not true. We want you to be heroes, but we'll go to the end of the earth with you if you're just honest with us.
Again, we're not saying, guys walk around and wear a billboard and explain your emotions to every woman in the world. We're just saying, if she's a good friend, then sometimes you can say, 'I'm in a bad mood today because... (whatever) ...it's not you.'"
One of the "signatures" of youth ministry is to cultivate HEALTHY, GREAT CHRISTIAN FRIENDSHIPS. But "FEELINGS" can make that goal pretty complicated sometimes when it comes to FRIENDSHIPS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX.
Jeanne wanted to connect with the hearts of her students, so she hosted two "focus groups," one with guys and the other one with girls. She asked them to talk about their FEELINGS when it came to building HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS with the opposite sex...what they WISHED their counterparts KNEW. Find out all the 12 things the guys wanted the girls to know...and the 14 things the girls wanted me to pass on to the guys... in the message called, "FEELS: What We All Feel When It Comes To Relationships."
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In this Source, I call, "OVERBOARD: Disconnecting from Toxic Friendships," we look at the story of Jonah and the impact of letting the wrong people get too close. Using stories, an illustration and a simple drama, the negative friendship cycle is exposed in hope that students don't get pulled in and swallowed up by it. For it's been proven time and time again, you can't live in Jonah's boat and avoid Jonah's future.
After over five decades in youth ministry, without comparison, no other area is more easily and often used of the Enemy to unravel students spiritually than negative friendships. Frequently, when their lives begin to come apart, all you have to do is look around and see what friends they have recently "brought on-board."
Lovingly,
"ENTANGLED"...Sounds like a title from an afternoon Soap, doesn't it? But it's really a message geared to helping your students in their romantic and relational lives. It's a theme we hit often in youth ministry because it is the number one way the Enemy attempts to take your students out of the ballgame. The entanglement of wrong romantic relationships and wrong friendships is a repeating theme in significant youth ministry.
You'll especially enjoy the powerful closing story which you can easily act out for a creative ingredient of the night. Most of all, may the night have eternal destiny for your kids as you encourage them to live a life that is not...ENTANGLED.
Lovingly yours,
In this Source I've decided to tackle the important topic of "romance." I often say, "If you're out of the romance business, you're out of youth ministry."
The goal of this Source is to call students to a standard that is a more reasonably paced approach to romance. Often, in our culture, students rush ahead too quickly in this area - moving from one stage to the next way, way too fast! My challenge to my students is, "Let's slow things down!" This will be an easy night...but one your students will remember.
It's so hard to speak on the subject of romance in a way that relates to students and still actually challenges the world's approach to relationships. I pray that as you use this message you'll receive a special anointing to connect with your gang on this incredibly crucial topic.
Your Long-Distance Cheerleader,
You're going to love this message. Based on a series of commercials from a few years ago, we've titled this Source, "WASSUP!"
This was my attempt at calling our students to "iron sharpens iron" relationships. It is crucial that your students begin to have friendships that keep them accountable. We've talked before about eliminating negative friendships, now we're pushing our students to make positive ones. If you can influence the friendship pattern of your kids, you'll change their entire walk with Christ!
Lovingly your biggest fan,
Relationships are a theme we often teach on in youth ministry because it's the number one way the Enemy attempts to take out your students. One of the "signatures" of our youth ministry is to cultivate HEALTHY, GREAT CHRISTIAN FRIENDSHIPS. But "FEELINGS" can make that goal pretty complicated sometimes when it comes to FRIENDSHIPS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX.
I wanted to connect with the hearts of my students, so I hosted two "focus groups," one with guys and the other one with girls. I asked them to talk about their FEELINGS when it came to building HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS with the opposite sex...what they WISHED their counterparts KNEW. Listen in to the 12 things the guys wanted the girls to know...and the 14 things the girls wanted me to pass on to the guys. I added a memorable story and God's concept of unselfish friendship and Christian love outlined for us in 1 Corinthians 13. It was a light hearted evening that conveyed some pretty profound truths.
Lovingly,
